One of the first things I said when I signed on for the show was No hugs! Full House was all based on hugs.

I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them

Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored.

I'd like a nice piece of salmon that's not too pink inside and yet isn't too dry or crisp either.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. And if that doesn't work out for you, Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

Behind every great man in prison is another great man in prison.

My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.

Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I'm going back to bed.

If someone sprays windex in your food it can give you diarrhea. But once you wipe it off your windows, you're fine.

I don't roll like that but I've never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that's good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that's a little disturbing.

My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that's how he dealt with my mom.

In my career as a writer, I preferred to avoid current events: I wrote young adult novels and book reviews and lifestyle journalism about health and parenting and other such evergreens.

Vulnerability is huge. I love to see that in characters. It's something I feel like a lot of my comedic heroes have always done.

Love without end, hath no end, says the Spaniard: (meaning, if it were not begun on particular ends, it would last).

Civilized life exacts its toll.

You betrayed me too. I'm just better at it than you.

Watercolour is probably the most satisfying of all mediums. Although difficult in the beginning, after practice its mysteries will unfold, providing the utmost pleasure for the dedicated.

A man guilty of poverty easily believes himself suspected.

You have to take what you could get when you're getting started.

Beyond all the fires of love through which one passes there is the star of Duty, and happy the individual who can live in its serenity.

If you don't have time to invest in a goals program is it possible that you don't have time because you don't have a goals program?