One of the first things you ever learn as a stand-up is don't show fear.

Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there.

I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don't rush into adulthood, it isn't all that much fun.

I love portraying the totally indifferent person.

I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much.

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.

People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less defeated in times of travail.

It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves.

I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.

I still feel thirty, except when I try to run.

The fear of being yourself is the beginning of self-doubt.

Sometimes being successful means pissing people off

What’s the most difficult thing you can do? Live simply. ‘Cause in order to be self-sufficient, you got to get well near everybody else to work for you.

I just take my three swings and go sit on the bench. I don't ever want to mess up my swing.

If you want to look like the people next door, you're probably smothering yourself into your dreams.

Don't mistake niceness for weakness.

It'd be tricky to read into my lyrics - some are autobiographical, but sometimes I just like the sound of words.

I let the evening unfold. I'm the sort of guy who likes to sit in the chair and look at the wine glass.

Don't see yourself as a body of clay; See yourself as a mirror reflecting the divine beauty.

The new generation has to hear what the older generation refuses to tell it.