One of the hardest things I've had to deal with in my career is keeping my material topical even though I only release albums every three or four years.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

There's no book that absolutely everyone loves.

Family life was and always will be the foundation of any civilization. Destroy the family and you destroy the country.

Without awareness, the current of life cedes its sense of control to other deceptive agents that take you into a life that is toxic rather than nourishing.

Indecision is like a stepchild: if he doesn't wash his hands he is called dirty if he does he is wasting the water.

Our success educationally, industrially and politically is based upon the protection of a nation founded by ourselves. And the nation can be nowhere else but in Africa.

I hate news and information and anything that threatens to puncture the bubble of oblivion in which I live.

I come to play everyday.

What church could compete with the fireworks of the pure soul?

If you do your job right, no one realizes you did your job, and that's a good thing. You strive for that.

I went to a house that was not a house. I opened a door that was not a door. And what I saw, I saw.