One of the important things about being a small-town reporter is knowing what not to put in the paper.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Yes, she believed God loved her. But if this whole fiasco was His idea of love . . .

Evil in general does not sleep, and therefore doesn't see why anyone else should.

Treat each person as you would an old friend.

I got lucky. I won the San Francisco Stand-Up Comedy Competition in 1977 while I was still at San Francisco State.

Once I've written something it does tend to run away from me. I don't seem to have any part of it - it's no longer my piece of writing.

When you hear music, after it's over, it's gone, in the air. You can never capture it again.

My beauty is dark chocolate and it's delicious and it's sweet.

I'm a big traveler these days. I was in Hong Kong. I live there. I was just in Belgium with my parents and now I'm on my way to North America. You will find me all over.

As a chess player one has to be able to control one's feelings, one has to be as cold as a machine.

It's sad that the U.S. government doesn't fund risky research anymore.