One of the many reasons why I love stand-up so much is when you're performing, you get instant feedback. You know if stuff is working right away.

We're not in an information age anymore. We're in the information management age.

Nerds get caught up in minutiae, because there is a tremendous and fulfilling sense of control in understanding every single detail of a thing more than any other living creature.

Bowling is all physics and energy distribution. It's F = ma. So it is actually one of the most science-y sports, because it literally is just a ball and a surface and objects to knock down.

When you hang around a lot of comedians long enough, you realize there's a certain gene, in every comedian. It's why we get hyper-analytical about things.

I do seem like the kind of guy who'd be obsessive about Rubik's Cubes.

No matter what tricks you use or what decisions you make, go easy on yourself as someone who's on a never-ending quest for improvement.

Steal moments of happiness if you have to, and then collect them until they are the dominant images in your psyche.

I almost think of nerd brains as rattlesnake venom; like, you can milk it. You can milk the pulpy venom out of the nerd brain and use it for good if you want to.

Humans cannot produce viable offspring with our closest animal cousin: the chimpanzee. We cannot impregnate a chimp. So you know what that means? No condoms.

I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult.

Talent comes from education you had, languages you know and finally from skills you gain in your life.

The long habit of living indisposeth us for dying.

I imitatea memory of beliefthat I do not own.

If you want a kinder world, then behave with kindness; if you want a peaceful world, make peace within.

Ask the woman, she will tell you everything you need to know

I am a fantastic nurse. I discovered this about myself, and Im really fantastic about diagnosing things.

I worked hard. Anyone who works as hard as I did can achieve the same results. The final aim and reason of all music is nothing other than the glorification of God and the refreshment of the spirit.

Must one dread what others dread?

I also want to apologize to my fans, to the kids, everyone who's affected by the situation me and my wife are in.

I known I'm only a child, yet I know we're all in the this together and should act as one single world towards one single goal