One of the rummy things about Jeeves is that, unless you watch like a hawk, you very seldom see him come into a room.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

You can be sure of succeeding in your attacks if you only attack places which are undefended.You can ensure the safety of your defense if you only hold positions that cannot be attacked.

Marriage is like a toothbrush. It starts out smooth and gets kind of prickly towards the end.

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

You're imperfect, and you're wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness.

I'd like to think that in any circumstance I'd say, "You know what? Screw this. Kill me. I'm done. I'm not going to grovel."

I don't have a lot of pressure on myself to be successful. I'm more of an artist. I just try to make myself more a part of the most beautiful painting as possible. And enjoy it.

I founded Wang Laboratories . . . to show that Chinese could excel at things other than running laundries and restaurants.

we have so much to say, and we shall never say it.

Our priorities should be: recognizing the voice of God and responding to the voice of God.