One of those Christmas songs says, "You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout." How's my wife going to get along?

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Death is woven in with the violets, ” said Louis. “Death and again death.”)

I am most right because I realize I am most wrong

How grateful I am that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has from its beginnings stood strongly against racism in any of its malignant manifestations.

I'm just tired and bored with myself.

Things that we have to really dare ourselves to do come quite naturally to others.

We can actually reconstruct our past by examining what we think, say, feel, expect, believe, and do in an intimate relationship now.

God does not redeem the personal man by death. He redeems himself by freeing himself from the personality of man.

In relations between the rich and the strong, between the rich and the poor, between the master and the servant, it's liberty that grinds down, and the law which liberates.

Oh no. I got a customer service person from another country.

Habits are changed by practicing new behaviors, and this is true for mental habits as well.