One person is nothing. Two people are a nation.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

The human self and the God self are both creations of molecules in the human brain.

You are more ready and able to grasp at opportunity when your hands are empty.

And just as it is with all proper grannies, she ordered me into my pink bunny jammies.

Bloody Jackson - he can land it on a 20 cent piece. Trouble is, it's usually in a bloke's pocket in the grandstand.

This is a highly reliable power source. Being a large credit card processor, doing $6 million an hour in transactions, our computers have to work.

... woman's narrow and purist attitude toward life makes her a greater danger to liberty wherever she has political power. Man haslong overcome the superstitions that still engulf women.

I hardly ever go to parties. If I really have to, I'll go, but I'm not the most open person, which is sometimes not the best quality.

Some people are suspicious of others who have more than one talent. I've had poets tell me to my face that an actress can't be a poet.

All diseases begin in the gut.

When I started workin' with Muddy. That convinced me that I could get away with doin' the blues.