One's own vanities and humiliations I find a delicious subject for conversation. Things said of me behind my back I don't enjoy, and don't listen to them.

The test of enjoyment is the remembrance which it leaves behind.

There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.

When they come downstairs from their Ivory Towers, idealists are very apt to walk straight into the gutter.

Don't tell friends their social faults; they will cure the fault and never forgive you.

The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists the circulation of the blood.

Eat with the rich, but go to the play with the poor, who are capable of joy.

People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.

Happiness is a wine of the rarest vintage, and seems insipid to a vulgar taste.

What I like in a good author is not what he says but what he whispers.

Style is a magic wand, and turns everything to gold that it touches.

Her short path through life had been written and it was not her right to know the meaning, only the outcome.

Those with no one to blame are alone with their grief.

Every villain is a hero in his own mind.

When I was younger, I had a perm, and it was really big. My mom was a hairdresser, so even my dad had a perm! I looked like a poodle, but it was cool at the time.

Inspiration is finding something that excites you.

These jokes the world plays, they're not funny at all.

I'm a very wealthy man.

I feel like you don't have to go through jail, that's not part of bein' a man.

It is only by a total death to self we can be lost in God.

Each day has its own destiny. Yesterday is history, today is opportunity while tomorrow is mystery.