One should never marry a man who doesn't own a decent set of scissors.

There's a difference between really loving someone and loving the idea of her.

I don't understand the point of being together if you're not the happiest.

Because isn’t that the point of every relationship: to be known by someone else, to be understood? He gets me. She gets me. Isn’t that the simple magic phrase?

My dad had limitations. That's what my good-hearted mom always told us. He had limitations, but he meant no harm. It was kind of her to say, but he did do harm.

Tampon commercial, detergent commercial, maxi pad commercial, windex commercial - you'd think all women do is clean and bleed.

Love makes you want to be a better man—right, right. But maybe love, real love, also gives you permission to just be the man you are.

...and you drink a little too much and try a little too hard. And you go home to a cold bed and think, 'That was fine'. And your life is a long line of fine.

Something bad was about to happen. My wife was being clever again.

Can you imagine, finally showing your true self to your spouse, your soul mate, and having him not like you?

We will have a happy marriage if it kills him.

Begin to pursue your dream.

Prayer is not mere wishing. It is asking – with a will. . . . It is energy. We turn to an active Giver

I am proud to say that I am not in it for the money. If I made a million dollars, I would donate most of it to various charities and libraries.

Every limbo boy and girl, all around the limbo world. Gonna do the limbo rock, all around the limbo clock.

The boom squanders through malinvestment scarce factors of production and reduces the stock available through overconsumption; its alleged blessings are paid for by impoverishment.

My favorite is the garlic press. I think it's beautiful as an object. But the awkward part of it all is that I don't use it much because I'm allergic to garlic.

Many people find the universe confusing - it's not.

Know what you're trying to do before you do it. Turning knobs at random isn't enlightening any more than throwing paint at a wall blindfolded will let you paint a nice picture.

There's a communist living in the White House!

Alas, how love can trifle with itself!