One son appears in stereo - a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

How can one ever do anything nobly Christian, living among people with such petty thoughts?

I couldn't quite understand how an ordinary man's good qualities could become crushing accusations against a guilty man.

It is much easier to focus on what you like than on what you dislike.

I would like to be remembered as a person who wanted to be free... so other people would be also free.

I am proud to work with the fossil fuel industry. I think it has historically done a horrible job of educating the public and I think my ideas will help it make a better case for freedom.

Getting a burp out of your little thing when she needs it is probably the greatest satisfaction I've come across at this point in my life.

I know that a mother, no matter how impoverished or uneducated, will do anything to save her babies.

Whoever is not satisfied with Christ alone, strives after something beyond absolute perfection.

Still the noise in the mind: that is the first task - then everything else will follow in time.

I only watch National Geographic Channel, and also I have the app on my phone. Im into astronomy and love to learn about new facts.