One thing I can guarantee you. You may not be a great deal wiser from my talk today, but you will be a great deal older.

A famous actor, Edmund Kean, on his deathbed, was reported to have said, "Dying is easy. Comedy is hard."

I sort of feel like Cindy Crawford's new husband on their wedding night. I know what's expected of me. I'm just not sure I've got the ability to make it interesting.

I'd like to introduce a man with a lot of charm, talent, and wit. Unfortunately, he couldn't be here tonight, so instead . . .

Enjoy how sweet, how thoughtful, how kind I'm being on your birthday. Because tomorrow it's back to the same old crap.

If the audience knows what's behind the door and the actor does not, that's comedy. If both the audience and the actor do not know, that's mystery!

I have a serious investment problem. I have no money.

Enjoy how sweet how thoughtful how kind I'm being on your birthday. Because tomorrow it's back to the same old crap.

I'd like to introduce a man with a lot of charm talent and wit. Unfortunately he couldn't be here tonight so instead . . .

When asked to contribute ten dollars to a lawyer's funeral I said: "Here's fifty. Bury five of them."

One thing I can guarantee you. You may not be a great deal wiser from my talk today but you will be a great deal older.

Be careful who you trust, the devil was once an angel.

What is my identity ?" "Nothing," said the Master. "You mean that I am an emptiness and a void?" said the incredulous disciple. "Nothing that can be labeled." said the Master.

America's strength is that it is capable of accepting people into its communities.

Back in the day, when the emperor or the king or whatever waged war, they went to war, too. But that's been lost in time.

We may get a paycheck, but over time what we sense is the dying of our souls.

I am highly favored by God, I experience great victories, supernatural turnarounds, and miraculous breakthroughs in the midst of great impossibilities.

In respect to religion and the healing art, all nations are still in a state of barbarism. In the most civilized countries the priest is still but a Powwow, and the physician a Great Medicine.

A chemist who does not know mathematics is seriously handicapped.

I wish that more and more adventurous young men would give up the gun in favour of the camera.

Goals help you channel your energy into action.