One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

We feel through our minds, we live through our hearts, and we love through our eyes.

God made you a masterpiece - be blessed, secure, disciplined and equipped.

Trees are your best antiques

Every passing year brings us more past futures.

No man who is not willing to help himself has any right to apply to his friends, or to the gods.

Life is a quest and love a quarrel

The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.

And suddenly the moon withdraws her sickle from the lightening skies, and to her sombre cavern flies, wrapped in a veil of yellow gauze.

Don't think of what's past!" said she. "I am not going to think outside of now. Why should we! Who knows what tomorrow has in store?

Extinguished theologians lie about the cradle of every science, as strangled snakes beside that of Hercules