One time a reporter asked me what my worst quality was. I looked him in the eyes then punched him in the face. I kind of felt bad about it later, but he didn't need to be rude.

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

If we refuse to accept knowledge because it frightens us, we will never grow. If we give in to fear, we will never outgrow hatred

Carrying someone else’s weight is only going to weigh down on you and add stress, frustration, and pain. Choose who you work with and play with wisely.

Stop bargaining with your fears and start challenging yourself to discover your extraordinary hidden abilities. Fears and doubts are your enemies of progress. So why dare to bargain with them?

All's well that ends well.

Prosperity makes some friends and many enemies.

Hear only the things you should hear - be deaf to others.

What if the person you were meant to be with could never be yours?

For love ... is the blood of life, the power of reunion in the separated.

I'm not trying to PREDICT the future. I'm just trying to PREVENT it.

Courage means going against majority opinion in the name of the truth.