One way or another, all the poets of the thirties and forties reacted to Auden, either by rejecting him or trying to absorb him.

Whoever called snooker "chess with balls" was rude, but right.

Snooker is just chess with balls.

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

The British secret service was staffed at one point almost entirely by alcoholic homosexuals working for the KGB

A sceptic finds Dallas absurd. A cynic thinks the public doesn't

It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.

A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all.

Fiction is life with the dull bits left out.

Disco dancing is just the steady thump of a giant moron knocking in an endless nail.

They had a... dog called Bluey. A know psychopath, Bluey would attack himself if nothing else was available.

Love your children—and let them know you love them. Children who experience love find it far easier to believe God loves them.

If we really do get what we give then I give up, so I can get up.

What makes sovereign ugliness are our conventions.

If people are still buying tickets, and still buying the DVDs, and they're still watching on YouTube and my fifteen minutes of fame isn't finished yet, then I'll just keep doing it.

Information has become king, whereas wisdom should be king and there is a big difference between the two.

Reading about myself on Perez Hilton was kind of the weirdest thing ever.

There is one—how would you put it—loophole.” “Loophole? More like a giant cavern if I have wings.

What you do not use yourself, do not give to others. For example, advice.

We mistook violence for passion, indolence for leisure, and thought recklessness was freedom.