One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

It is not my words that I polish, but my ideas. 102

I've been very lucky. I wanted to be an actress, but I didn't really have the drive to sell myself. Fortunately I had a terrific agent in New York who kept me going from job to job.

President Obama deserves credit for building what you call the largest coalition to fight terror.

All things considered, nothing is beautiful.

I'm always happy when I hear about people selling records or selling books or selling movies. It makes me proud of them.

The more humble a man is before God the more he will be exalted; the more humble he is before man, the more he will get rode roughshod.

A great body is a gift you give yourself

I was steeped in the understanding that if 'something is Roman [Catholic], it must be wrong.

Some people just derive great joy from making other people laugh. And I do, but I don't feel like I need to do it 24 hours a day.

What is it like to be a bat? What is it like for a bat to be a bat?