Online, there's no time. It's always Christmas.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

I get stage fright and gremlins in my head saying: 'You're going to forget your lines'.

The truth is that stress doesn't come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about these circumstances.

A creative person has little power over his own life. He is not free. He is captive and driven by his daimon.

You must be careful when you ask people whether they’re happy; it’s a question that can upset them a great deal.

It's never too early to care about fashion.

I'm starved for different light, a different sun,different sky.

Technological 'revolutions' don't really overthrow anything - they simply append a new and dynamic market to that which went before.

As a kid, I think I wanted to be the on-set dresser for 'Charlie's Angels'. My goals weren't lofty. No. I just wanted to someday quit my paper round and that was about it.

Your attitude to life is far more important in determining your happiness than your money, appearance, social status or talent.

If there is no dull and determined effort, there will be no brilliant achievement.