Only 10 percent of the people in the U.S. like dry wines. You shouldn't get down on people just because they like a little sugar.

All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian.

Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.

No Taxes. Let's just tip the government 15% if they do a good job.

I must choose my words carefully in order to avoid any negative interpretation. Among politicians, this is a tactic known as lying.

Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.

I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.

I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.

Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'

We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman.

Deep down, I happen to be very shallow.

You don't have to be scared of me, because I am loyal. Why are people so scared of creative ideas and so scared of truth? All I want to do is do good.

I guess to just keep playing music; to just keep outdoing the last record.

I went to a restaurant the other day called 'Taste of the Raj.' The waiter hit me with a stick and got me to build a complicated railway system.

O who is more to blame: He who sins for pay - Or he who pays for sin?

My guilty pleasure is reality TV, as I am really nosey.

I'm not annoying in relationships! I'm great!

Learning to never quit and keep going is the biggest thing. I don't think it was ever an epiphany, I think that's just the most important thing that has worked for me: to keep going and keep trying.

I aint gotta get a plaque, I aint gotta get awards I just walk up out the door, all the girls will applaud

Love is generally confused with dependence; but in point of fact, you can love only in proportion to your capacity for independence.

Going out there and promoting myself socially doesn't really intrigue me. I'd much rather have my work do it for me.