Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

Never be defeated by roadblocks life throws in your way. Instead, conquer them. You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for.

If you plan to be happy, you will find at least one reason to be happy. Real happiness is never accidental. Discover happiness on your terms.

Moral courage is higher and a rarer virtue than physical courage.

Keep your temper. A decision made in anger is never sound.

Credit is a system whereby a person who can not pay gets another person who can not pay to guarantee that he can pay.

Nowhere on the globe do men live so well as in America, or grumble so much.

A woman filled with faith in the one she loves is the creation of a novelist's imagination.

I am the manifestation of study, NOT the manifestation of money. Therefore, I advance through thought, NOT what's manufactured and bought.

Having Respect for the world is when you allow people to be what they are.

The round of a passionate man's life is in contracting debts in his passion, which his virtue obliges him to pay. He spends his time in outrage and acknowledgment, injury and reparation.