Only one person in 1000 is a bore, and HE is interesting because he is one person in 1000.

The great secret of a successful marriage is to treat all disasters as incidents and none of the incidents as disasters.

The gift of broadcasting is, without question, the lowest human capacity to which any man could attain.

We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals; others, by their acts.

The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill.

Every schoolmaster after the age of forty-nine, is inclined to flatulence is apt to swallow frequently and to puff

To be a good diarist, one must have a snouty, sneaky mind.

The worst thing, I fear, about being no longer young is that one is no longer young.

Intellectuals incline to be individualists, or even independents, are not team conscious and tend to regard obedience as a surrender of personality.

Berlin stimulates like arsenic.

Few things are more agreeable than the spectacle of a man who loses his temper; we should be grateful to such people for providing us with moments of often unsullied delight.

But no matter what happens, I spoke up, made a voice for myself, freed from the haunting memories that have owned me for the last six years. I found my courage.

He got drunk as usual, but instead of drifting to sleep, he stayed up, and at a white heat, wrote what had been sitting on his heart for decades.

Never wait people to thank you, God is the only one who would reward you …

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition.

How many a dispute could have been deflated into a single paragraph if the disputants had dared to define their terms

A pipe is greater than a bong. Because when you're smoking a pipe at least it makes you look like you're thinking about something.

Nothing that can be, can come between me and the full prospect of my hopes.

You are my angel and my damnation; in your presence I reach divine ecstasy and in your absence I descent to hell.

If someone hates you, they won't ask you for things.