Only the incompetent wait until the last extremity to use force, and by then, it is usually too late to use anything, even prayer.

You know, it's quite all right to give the underdog a hand, but only one hand. Keep the other hand on your pistol - or he'll try to eat the one you gave him!

Keep a goverment poor and weak and it's your servant; when it is rich and powerful it becomes your master.

English is the product of a Saxon warrior trying to make a date with an Angle bar-maid, and as such is no more legitimate than any of the other products of that conversation.

Apparently, on New Texas, killing a politician was not malum in se, and was mallum prohibitorum only to the extent that what happened to the politician was in excess of what he deserved.

English is the result of Norman men-at-arms attempting to pick up Saxon barmaids and is no more legitimate than any of the other results.

I like it where it gets dark at night, and if you want noise, you have to make it yourself.

And when someone makes a statement you don't understand, don't tell him he's crazy. Ask him what he means.

I had a lot of other ideas, now and then, but every time I took a second look at one, it got sick and died.

Take a drink because you pity yourself, and then the drink pities you and has a drink, and then two good drinks get together and that calls for drinks all around.

Sanity, it would seem, was a dangerously contagious disease.

Successful people breed success.

Nobody ever swung a club too slowly.

We are alive for a certain period of time in any given lifetime. We are competing against time. It is a race to see if we can wake up before we go to sleep again. That is the challenge.

All that I am my mother made me.

Ignorance is servitude, because as a man thinks, so he is; a man who does not think for himself and allows himself to be guided by the thought of another is like the beast led by a halter.

As I have often said, she has two styles of acting: with or without the beard.

There's only one sort of natural blonde on earth - albinos.

The soul is the prison of the body.

Words and prayers are powerful agreements, and you need to see what kind you are using every day.

Do all the work you can do, every day, and do each piece of work in a perfectly successful manner; put the power of success, and the purpose to get rich, into everything that you do.