Only the old are innocent. That is what the Victorians understood, and the Christians. Original sin is a property of the young. The old grow beyond corruption very quickly.

The English are polite by telling lies. The Americans are polite by telling the truth.

With sociology one can do anything and call it work

I've often thought that my scruples about stealing books were the only thing that stood in the way of my being a really great scholar.

Culture is a way of coping with the world by defining it in detail.

You Liberals think that goats are just sheep from broken homes.

Here we have a saying: a good friend is someone who visits you when you are in prison. But a really good friend is someone who comes to hear your lectures.

If God had been a liberal, we wouldn't have had the Ten Commandments - we'd have the Ten Suggestions.

English history is all about men liking their fathers, and American history is all about men hating their fathers and trying to burn down everything they ever did.

On many American campuses the only qualification for admission was the ability actually to find the campus and then discover a parking space.

Marriage is the most advanced form of warfare in the modern world.

People haven't always been there for me but music always has.

God would never place a dream in your heart that He didn't have the ability to fulfill.

To me, boxing isn't about the other person. It's about me. My inner struggles. It works for me.

Wisdom is immortal. She can wait forever, but you cannot.

The choice of every lost soul can be expressed in the words "Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven." There is always something they insist on keeping, even at the price of misery.

If you want to be liberated, if you choose to be what I am, then you've chosen freedom. You can do this.

So do boys and men announce their intentions. They cover you like a sarcophagus lid. And call it love.

You don't have to show people how successful you are.

You can awaken each day to obligations you never chose — or you can decide now to choose them.

A socialist is someone who has read Lenin and Marx. An anti-socialist is someone who understands Lenin and Marx.