Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Authentic religion is not a theology test. It's a love test.

Nature is always talking to you, smiling to you, and singing to you. To understand, you just have to be open to listen with your heart and soul.

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Do not envy the success of any person. But set your goal on a successful guy. Then this will make you succeed.

The torture of being the unseen object, and the constantly observed subject.

It will work out, somehow. That's a hell of a duo right there, Marbury, Crawford and Houston.

On vacation, you can wear all the colorful and casual clothing that you like, but you must always be elegant.

It is the hour of pearl—the interval between day and night when time stops and examines itself.

The moment I've got a ball at my feet, I'm happy.

I have thought of relocating, somewhere where I'd be more appreciated. California, perhaps. I could teach earthquake preparedness.