Operator! Give me the number for 911!

The nice thing is that, at least in Los Angeles, I'm known as a character actor and I do auditions for other things besides just cartoon shows.

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution!

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such.

All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat?'. I'm trying to impress people here Lisa. You don't win friends with salad.

Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy.

To many, Homer may appear lazy and a loser, but he's just much misguided. He's boorish, sure, but well meaning and, I guess, the one thing we have in common is the pursuit of lousy diets.

You don't need to blow the trumpet when you accomplished something because your work, your action will speak itself.

The mob spirit has grown with the increasing intelligence of the Afro-American.

Art hath an enemy call'd ignorance .

Dealing with Hollywood and commercial entertainment, you always have to worry that the political message is going to be skewed or obscured.

Think of your life as a field. The field is the field of action. What a mystic does is set up their life as a field of power.

I am not against Israel, I am against Zionists.

Christianity is the only religion in the world where a man's God comes and lives inside of Him!

In these days there is no time to pray; but without time, and a lot of it, we shall never learn to pray.

Meditation will help you to find your bonds, loosen them, untie them and cast your moorings. When you are no longer attached to anything, you have done your share. The rest will be done for you.

If we lose sight of people, we lose sight of the very purpose of leadership.