Opportunity may only knock once, but temptation'll knock down the damn door and drag you out by the hair.

I've been a little cranky since that house fell on my sister.

A balanced diet and a brisk daily walk will help keep you healthy, but there's nothing like a good-looking young man with a nice butt to help up your cardiovascular system.

You are a perfect woman, a magical blend of beauty, intelligence, and spirit. Without you, my life is nothing.

Yeah, world peace would be all right, but what about a day off in a slab of ham the size of my head.

There aren't many things a man finds more appealing than loyalty. Unless it's a woman with really big knockers.

I'd trade every last one of you for a moment's peace and a dog that didn't P on the carpet

If they really wanted us to resist temptation, they shouldn't a made it so damn tempting.

It's not as if I don't like men, I just have more respect for my washing machine.

In my experience, "what the hell" is generally the most interesting decision.

There is not a simple gene pool entirely free of toxic waste.

Is there anyone that knows the absolute truth?

What we could consider magic, may just be science that we don’t understand yet.

Praise children when they do good, And if they should stumble or fall, Show them how to be humble, Show them how to stand tall

There was no use wondering about the past.

The Bible strongly encourages us to get involved in discipleship.

But stupid things have a gravity and a momentum of their own

Tonight in your dreams you must look at your hands.

The specific story line that people have responded to the most has been the horror of bathing suit shopping.

But with trust we can strive to accept even what we cannot understand.

God's training ground, where the missionary weapons are found, is the hidden, personal, worshiping life of the saint.