Osama's dead. Why is the terror alert elevated or imminent? Why not chill? Can't I just fly, keep my shoes on and avoid X-ray-fueled testicular cancer?

Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.

Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.

I don't fail. I succeed at finding out what doesn't work.

Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.

The normal make a living. The deranged make history.

I think when you sit alone with your brain too much, your own brain starts to rebel against you.

Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, Booty - mmm mmm.

I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch - like vodka and Oreos.

Anyone can have a relationship but if you're dating a woman who's so crazy in bed that if you aren't wearing your Kevlar one night you might never see daylight again... that's exciting.

The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?

On top of the world, or in the depths of despair.

Just be careful" implies that there's an end to it all, maybe in an hour, maybe in three years, but an end just the same.

Nothing ought in reason to mortify our self-satisfaction more that the considering that we condemn at one time what we highly approve and commend at another.

Is it sufficient that you have learned to drive the car, or shall you look and see what is under the hood? Most people go through life without ever knowing.

I would love to meet some directors, and why not do some other movies in America? But, I'm not obsessed with this idea. I'm feeling very free in Europe.

There never was a story that was happy through and through.

Poles did not like Jews and they were worse than Germans.

I find the practice of yoga very spiritual and taking the time to just be and to reflect through meditation and chanting helps me to connect to a higher energy.

It's not like I'm the most famous person in the world

It is with books as with the fires of our grates, everybody borrows a light from his neighbor to kindle his own, which in turn is communicated to others, and each partakes of all.