Oscar Wilde said that the gods punish us in two ways: first, they don't give us what we want, then, they do. He forgot the third way: we finally see the cost of getting it.

The god that you dispense with today, will come back as a demon tomorrow.

Falling in love with another man is like falling into a vast vat of yourself. For some men this is ultimately nourishing, for others . . . it is drowning.

Wanting someone so much that his very presence takes your breath away is one of the most thrilling happenings in life. Not getting him in no way diminishes this.

Learn to detest things that do not allow you to be yourself, and embrace things that make that self larger, more thrilling, and voluptuous.

Still water does not only run deep. It runs dangerously.

Try to dwell on the people you'd like to love, instead of all the people you do loathe.

There are two things in life that money cannot buy: health and happiness. Aside from that, it does an excellent job.

There are certain restaurants where you should photograph the food rather than eat it. These are great places to bring a narcissistic boyfriend before you break up.

Learn the absolute pleasure of kindness.

I prefer the "tackiest" person in the world to the stylish person who has no tact.

I will still be the girl with dreams, even the dreams come true

Cynicism is a boring and dull old man’s disease people have no business getting when they’re young.

Mothers are all slightly insane.

...though the Elders are connected to the Great Spirit, they are still only elves.

Want and boredom are indeed the twin poles of human life.

A lot has been said about single mothers. Most of it has been less than flattering.

If your corn has a herbicide-tolerant gene, it means you can pray your herbicides and kill the weeds; you won't kill your corn.

To be a comedian, you have to have some darkness behind it. I certainly draw on my past, and it helps.

Comparative religion is an admirable recipe for making people comparatively religious.

Self-deceit is a most damaging trait. The remedy, for an artist, is to paint a self-portrait!