Our first stop was red square, the heart of Moscow - if Moscow has one.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

My creed is that: Happiness is the only good. The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now. The way to be happy is to make others so.

The threat of terrorism is great and with today's porous borders, someone could bring a biological weapon into our country or sneak a dirty bomb across unmanned portions of our borders.

To me, there was nothing greater than to play for an audience and to entertain people and that has stayed with me all these years.

The podcast movement was really a creative survival mechanism for standup comics.

Risk no more that you can afford to lose, and also risk enough so that a win is meaningful.

Index funds eliminate the risks of individual stocks, market sectors, and manager selection. Only stock market risk remains.

People like to think that actors are terribly worried about ghosts of other actors in the parts they play. But you just have to get on with it.

In Eleven Minutes, I started with the question of why sexuality is considered one of the major issues in life.

As not a native, I have the advantage of not seeing scenes habitually. I can see things fresh.

The truth is that liberal humanism is at once largely ineffectual, and the best ideology of the 'human' that present bourgeois society can muster.