Our friends in America will be at the front of the queue for trade deals.

I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.

It is just flipping unbelievable. He is a mixture of Harry Houdini and a greased piglet. He is barely human in his elusiveness. Nailing Blair is like trying to pin jelly to a wall.

My speaking style was criticised by no less an authority than Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was a low moment, my friends, to have my rhetorical skills denounced by a monosyllabic Austrian cyborg.

It is possible to have a pretty good life and career being a leech and a parasite in the media world, gadding about from TV studio to TV studio, writing inconsequential pieces and having a good time.

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it.

The only reason I wouldn't go to some parts of New York is the real risk of meeting Donald Trump.

My ideal world is, we're there, we're in the EU, trying to make it better.

There is absolutely no one, apart from yourself, who can prevent you, in the middle of the night, from sneaking down to tidy up the edges of that hunk of cheese at the back of the fridge.

In 1904, 20 per cent of journeys were made by bicycle in London. I want to see a figure like that again. If you can't turn the clock back to 1904, what's the point of being a Conservative?

I am supporting David Cameron purely out of cynical self-interest.

The most important reason for going from one place to another is to see what's in between, and they took great pleasure in doing just that.

Before meeting you, I didn't know what it was like to feel lonely. I never even considered myself to be alone. That's because when you feel lonely, it means that there is someone for you to miss.

Don't be an escort to people on their way to success, for it is equally as if you're a sign post, leading the way, and rusting at the end.

I see great things in baseball. It's our game - the American game.

You women are all the same, if bed's all right, You think everything else can go to the wind. But if there's any infringement of your bed-rights, Then fair is foul and all hell's let loose.

Like a dart the present glances, Silent stands the past sublime.

Police blog or entertainment news, it's just good to see your name in print.

Send me no more reviews of any kind. I will read no more of evil or good in that line. Walter Scott has not read a review of himself for thirteen years .

Some people mistakenly think nature is very nice and benevolent and never betrays.

I'm a plotter. A thinker, a note-maker, a mapper and a flow-charter. I'm up for using any device that will teach me more about the people I'm writing about and their story.