Our local department store had two Santas - one for regular kids and one for kids who wanted ten toys or less.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Who ends up with their first real boyfriend? Yeah, no one.- Courtney

I'm an all powerful amazon warrior, not just some sniveling girl.

What I love more than anything is Jerry Goldsmith's 80's music and Bernard Herrmann's genre music from the 50's and 60's.

A short distance away is the Tidal Basin, ringed by cherry trees that every year produce flowers, an event to which Washingtonians react as though it were the Second Coming of Christ.

will anything but fanaticism make for change? Wisdom and compromise come later.

To overcome any sort of fear is satisfying, and to overcome it well is even better.

As American taxpayers know too well, the tax code is incredibly complex and compliance is all to expensive.

That's what Buddhism has been trying to unravel - the mechanism of happiness and suffering. It is a science of the mind.

The only sadnesses that are dangerous and unhealthy are the ones that we carry around in public in order to drown them out with the noise.

I always wanted to win the Super Bowl so I could take it and hold it and see what lies beyond it. I think it may be the sun.