Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late.

Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.

If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.

Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.

It's a good thing that when God created the rainbow he didn't consult a decorator or he would still be picking colors.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.

Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.

We may not always see eye to eye, but we can try to see heart to heart.

The flame of the spirit is a burning lamp.

I wanted to educate myself about the world and I wanted to know what was happening to people in other countries. I feel now I have only just begun.

I love vampire stories. That's why I did the movie. Women especially were taken with that movie-even more so when it came out on video.

Jazz to me is a living music.

With my art, it's the one thing that I know will outlive me and outlive my feelings. It will outlive my depressive seasons.

For both optimal health and weight loss, you must consume a diet with a high nutrient-per-calorie ratiothere are no shortcuts.

How can we learn self-knowledge? Never by taking thought but rather by action. Try to do your duty and you'll soon discover what you're like.

I've been impressed, over the last 15 years, with how often the somewhat conspiratorial comments of Haitian villagers have been proven to be correct when the historical record is probed carefully.

Now women in comedy is a trendy topic, and people are hungering for women's voices in a way that they haven't before.

Now if you’ll excuse me, Death waits for no man. Except me.