Our way of life, our government defines the way America is. I mean, it's not luck.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

When we kissed for the second time, we didn't stop (couldn't).

Thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative.

Poetry was the maiden I loved but politics was the harridan I married.

Imagination gives the man the ability to poject himself through time and space and rise above all limitations.

Islam is an evil and wicked religion.

I need Harry Potter like a grindylow needs water.

Jones looks like he wants to slug me, which is only subtly different from his usual way of looking at me like I'm a slug.

The LORD Almighty has a day in store for all the proud and lofty, for all that is exalted (and they will be humbled).

There is always room for change, but you have to be open to that change.

Somewhere, deep within her, surfaces a tiny clockwork submarine. There are times when you can only take the next step. And then another.