PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

...but the truth is that it is only in knowing who you are at your core and staying true to yourself that you can possibly see the difference between passion and real love.

People do get hypnotized by the hard choices and stop looking at the alternatives. The will to be stupid is a powerful force

Many people still feel so scared about spirit or ghost, not yet realizing that there are so many unidentified living creatures on this planet earth which might be even more dreadful.

The best things in life are often waiting for you at the exit ramp of your comfort zone.

It’s not about electing the right people. It’s about a narrowing their responsibilities.

My dad is a bank president and my mom was an accountant and they didn't think that seeking the life of a freelance writer was very practical, you see. Of course, I was just as determined to do it.

I think great art goes beyond the control of the artist. In some ways, art often makes itself and reveals things about that artist that maybe the artist is not fully conscious of.

If you ask, who has the chance to move into the city and get a good job out in the developing world? It's a man. Who's left to care for the kids back at home? The woman is.

There comes a time when everyone wants to re-evaluate their life and what they want out of it.

These tabloid magazines - I think they're hideous and the downfall of society.