PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

God will constantly send people to you who need the fruit of your ministry

Men always want to be a woman's first love, -women want to be a man's last romance.

You held me down and rammed me so hard I deep-throated you from the other end.

All conventional wisdom has an element of truth to it, but good design requires more than an element of truth - it requires an ensemble of correct assumptions and valid calculations.

I'm very emotional and possessive about all my films.

Don't settle for comfortable misery, a sad state where you're hanging on to what is most predictable and familiar at the risk of letting exciting opportunities pass you by.

Laughter or crying is what a human being does when there's nothing else he can do.

Teens aren't just interested in getting laid. I won't believe that's all they're interested in. I have four younger sisters and they're sick of being shown how they're supposed to react in bed.

I think the bait for doing something really is always the part.

I did an internship with Mike (Shanahan) and the Redskins last summer and I knew after a week and a half that it wasn't for me. I think I knew that going in, but I wanted to make sure.