PHYSIOGNOMY, n. The art of determining the character of another by the resemblances and differences between his face and our own, which is the standard of excellence.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

We see the light of our soul when we are blind with love.

Men always want what they can’t have, or what other men want. It’s a scientific fact.

Time is a circus always packing up and moving away.

There might never be that moment when everyone says, "Oh my God, big data is awful."

If happy I and wretched he, Perhaps the king would change with me.

[Long Island] is buoyant, it's on the outskirts of Manhattan, and so they have access to phenomenal restaurants.

The fact is, the secret of happiness is the sense of proportion.

When you start to kind of immerse yourself in that improvisation culture, you gotta be comfortable enough with your instrument to throw yourself into a really potentially dangerous situation.

As an actor, you deal in fantasy, imagination, and concentration. Those are your three weapons. Those are your bullets.

Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.