PIG, n. An animal ("Porcus omnivorus") closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

To fail is nothing, unless you continue to ignore Cosmic Ordering.

Cruelty against innocent helpless animals is the worst form of violence.

Feelings, like waves, look more substantial than they are.

Song of Solomon 1:2- Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.

Nothing is so tiresome to one's self, as well as so odious to others, as disguise and affectation.

Fresh air makes me throw up. I can't handle it. I'd rather be around three Denobili cigars blowing in my face all night.

The consumer is always right.

The more senses recruited at the moment of learning, the more likely you are to recall it later.

The theory of the permanent revolution, in contradiction to the theory of socialism in one country, was recognized by the entire Bolshevik party during the period from 1917 to 1923.

Glory in nothing, but only in this, that you are in Christ. For God chose you in him; the being you had was in him before the world was.