PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

See how she leans her cheek upon her hand. O, that I were a glove upon that hand That I might touch that cheek!

You’ve always been a stormYour lightning mouthElectrifies my heart

Our stories must be written, shared and communicated.

The simplest way that I can understand therapy is that we're born a certain way, we're taught to be something different, and we spend our whole lives trying to unravel it.

I had to stand in front of my refrigerator, which was open, dipping pretzels in cream cheese and stuffing them in my mouth. If I did that, I was good. Otherwise I was nauseous.

Songs suffer at the mercy of the performer.

It is very important to support what you believe in.

Humanity has gained its suit; Liberty will nevermore be without an asylum.

Football is nothing without fans.

Never under estimate a pretty little liar.