PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Security... it's simply the recognition that changes will take place and the knowledge that you're willing to deal with whatever happens.

I fluffed off the guy who kept requesting tunes all night, then found out he was the King's son.

If some band sucks, you're going to have to find out about it for yourself, because I don't have the interest in issuing warnings.

We must give the American worker the first option of ownership.

Now "professional" seems to be whoever you went to school with. It constitutes your nuclear world. And that's the fault of the teachers; it's not the fault of the young artist.

At a time when political correctness is valued over honesty I would also like to say right on motherfuckers!

There's always a concern as an actor that you'll be boring unless your character is swinging from a chandelier.

I believed that the way passed through Man, and that it was from there that destiny had to emerge.

Woman, above all other educators, educates humanly. Man is the brain, but woman is the heart, of humanity.

I am not sure that it is a bad thing to go to a school, as I did, where the boys threw things at me, and asked if there was nothing else I could do [but draw].