PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Education opens the door for an extraordinary life.

Science and spirituality are not opposed entities that try to claim ownership of the universal truth but rather different layers of awareness about this world.

Your obstacles are always counting on you to be fearful and doubtful because those are their only chances of defeating you.

If you light a lamp for someone it will also brighten your path.

Pieces of your heart broke every day when you were a mother.

To survive in a corrupt country, you need to be the son of a king or be king yourself.

Governments do not govern, but merely control the machinery of government, being themselves controlled by the hidden hand.

When the fun goes out of getting dressed, you might as well be dead.

My grandmother had a Miss Margaret's School of Dance to teach tap and ballet to kids, but I never studied it. I was raised a Mormon and they're dancing fools. It's the only vice they have - dancing.

Ideas run wild without discussion.