Pack animals always tear apart the weaklings in their midst. Every child knows that much instinctively.

There's no such things as survival of the fittest. Survival of the most adequate, maybe. It doesn't matter whether a solution's optimal. All that matters is whether it beats the alternative.

The most altruistic and sustainable philosophies fail before the brute brain stem imperative of self-interest.

But when the flash flood crosses your path, when the lion leaps at you from the grasses, advanced self-awareness is an unaffordable indulgence. The brain stem does its best.

Radar is too long in the tooth for fine detail.

If the rest of your brain were conscious, it would probably regard you as the pointy-haired boss from Dilbert

What's the survival value of obsessing on a sunset?

Property damage is so much easier to live with than murder.

Brains are survival engines, not truth detectors.

After four thousand years we can’t even prove that reality exists beyond the mind of the first-person dreamer.

You can’t turn a sunset into a string of grunts without losing something.

Everything worthwhile ends. We are in the perpetual process now: creation, maturation, cessation.

Life leaps like a geyser for those who drill through the rock of inertia.

You may not have any extra talent, but maybe you are just paying more attention to what you are doing.

You know, at some point there has to be parity. There has to be parity between what is happening in the real world, and what is happening in the public sector world.

Women -- a mistake, or did He do it to us on purpose?

Prisons are universities of crime, maintained by the state.

I'm a huge fan of Jonathan Winters. He's influenced everyone who's ever done improvisational comedy. You look to Jonathan Winters for inspiration. He paved the way.

The only weapon we have is comedy.

Whenever you feel down, always remember that Almighty Allah has better plans for you.

Man is the only animal for whom his own stupid existence is a problem which he has to try in vain to solve.