Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Your own Self-Realization is the greatest service you can render the world.

Faith is a total attitude of the self.

Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal: my strength lies solely in my tenacity.

Friendship, like the immortality of the soul, is too good to be believed.

Arrogance is a veneer -- a thin covering of excuses hiding deep performance deficiencies.

I learned a long time ago life just isn't fair, so you better stop expecting it to be.

I consciously decided not to be a 'London' actor. Those gangster movies made a lot of East End actors think they were movie stars. And I was very aware that they were going to go out of fashion.

Deeply in my heart, do I want to believe that there is that special guy that is for me. Yes, absolutely.

I've got enough money to last the rest of my life ... as long as I die about four o'clock this afternoon.

And Americans have always stood ready to pay the cost in energy and treasure which are needed to make those goals a reality.