Parenting is the easiest job to get - you just have to screw up once and it's yours.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

Success is the bridge between insanity and credibility.

Each person is a speck of consciousness that is attempting to awaken and return to its point of origin, to the source. That is life’s true journey and story.

experience is nothing but maturity. maturity is nothing but experience

Oh, how I longed to burst through the doors and go walking through the streets, with my hands open, like weapons!

You don't want me here, I don't wanna be here, so why am I here?

Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.

The digital revolution is almost as disruptive to the traditional media business as electricity was to the candle business.

By activating an expansive, tolerant, and creative mindset, positive feelings maximize the social, intellectual, and physical benefits that will accrue.

You're not going to enjoy every minute of the journey, but the success you'll find at the end will make it all worth it.

Potential is universal, opportunity is not.