Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

Only you are responsible for the development of your gift and for its brilliant after the process of its refinement

Blackbirds are the cellos of the deep farms.

I have been in films before where people have been in a rush to label them as a Black film or even as a history lesson. These are ways to make the film feel niche and not for everyone.

Life is not inherently meaningful. We make meaning happen through the attention and care we express through our actions.

If God had intended for women to wear slacks, He would have constructed them differently.

You see, money isn't everything - I know it sounds corny but I really mean it - success means a lot more.

It's impossible for me to think of music as a contest. All of the awards ceremonies, I mean I'm sure they're fun for people, but they have no meaning to me.

What passes for news is just morbid speculation or cartoonish screaming, followed by diaper commercials.

We don't want crimes committed in New Mexico falling through the cracks. This legislation ensures that there is no area of our state where crimes can be committed without consequence.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.