Paris Hilton got 45 days in jail. A lot of people were upset about this - they were hoping for the death penalty.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

History, like love, is so apt to surround her heroes with an atmosphere of imaginary brightness.

The gift of your time and attention is love in action.

Misfortune wandering the same track lights now upon one and now upon another.

When you are young, you enjoy a sustained illusion that sooner or later something marvelous is going to happen, that you are going to transcend your parents' limitations.

I think isolation is one of the greatest problems, an ever-growing obstacle to political solidarity.

Librarian like Stewardess, Certified Public Accountant, Used Car Salesman is one of those occupations that people assume attract a certain deformed personality.

Life means that I can live to see tomorrow.

Donald Trump must be taken seriously. He is fulfilling his dangerous campaign promises.

For me, nothing brings out my 'born yesterday' idiotic qualities quite like having my photograph taken.

I don't bang for the color or the land. I bang for the principles and for the honor. I'm bangin' for the Westside- this is in my heart, this is how I feel.