Paris Hilton has launched a new champagne in a can called Rich Prosecco. For the ad campaign Paris posed wearing nothing but gold paint. That’s a unique way to cover up herpes.

A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can't live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And you don't even have to be topless. L'chaim.

We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.

I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.

You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU

There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronge

If you are not envied, you are not enviable.

Trapnest means “The Trapped Den” Once we enter it, we can’t get out by our own means I thought that that name could only come from a man who love having power over other.

Chess will always be the master of us all.

My favorite room in the house is the living room. We have two big couches, six recliners and over 20 pillows. It's a really comfortable place to hang out with my family.

If you're talented enough and play long enough, and put up numbers, you'll get to the Hall of Fame. That doesn't make you a World Series winner.

Everything we do is either an act of love or a cry for help.

Never say no. It always depends on what's possible. I don't care so much where it is; it's what I want to do that matters.

The revolutionary can have no friendship or attachment, except for those who have proved by their actions that they, like him, are dedicated to revolution.