Part of what I do comes from the fact that I don't know any jokes to tell. And when I do they're really flat and don't work.

I probably have become more infamous from two misdemeanors than probably anyone I could think of.

I know you are, but what am I?

There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand.

There were just things in Disney movies that probably were too scary for kids.

I wouldn't sell my bike for all the money in the world. Not for a hundred million, trillion, billion dollars!

I'm right-handed, and the police report said I was jerking off with my left hand. That would have been the end of the case right there, proof it couldn't have been me.

I've always felt like a kid, and I still feel like a kid, and I've never had any problem tapping into my childhood, and my kid side.

I enjoy getting to be arty and quirky and weird and all the things that I don't have that much choice with. You just sort of use what you got.

I was always in disguise. I'd wear masks or weird get-ups so you couldn't recognize me. I was always afraid that if somebody caught on that it was me, I'd never work again.

I was looking for a last name that was a first name. Growing up, I knew a kid who was the most obnoxious kid I ever knew, and his last name was Herman.

Although every novel is derived directly from another novel, there is really only one novel, the Quixote.

I wanna go play my music in a club.

Of the seven deadly sins, only envy is no fun at all.

The thing I learned was the lack of coordination in research projects in the world and therefore you will have gaps in what we could possibly learn from these research projects.

There's a lot of anti-intellectualism in Britain. And the writer's views on this or that are really of less importance, as they see it, than that of the man in the street.

Knowledge has three degrees--opinion, science, illumination. The means or instrument of the first is sense; of the second, dialectic; of the third, intuition.

I have pain; there is no arguing against sense, but I have peace, I have peace.

Without great mountains we cannot reach great heights.

All the body's systems and processes - your nerves, your emotions - take instruction from what is going on with your breath.