Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.

For me, not knowing your theme until your finished is like using a scalpel to turn a kangaroo into Miss Universe – there will be a lot of deep cuts, and there’s a high chance it won’t work.

With time comes perspective.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

It is as if we find ourselves on a ship in the middle of the ocean, with the captain making the point that we are free to leave.

My day jobs... I knew I was bad at those, so I didn't really have the confidence to think that I could do comedy. But I knew I hated the day jobs.

The power of words is immense. A well-chosen word has often sufficed to stop a flying army, to change defeat into victory and to save an empire.

All that hath been majestical In life or death, since time began, Is native in the simple heart of all, The angel heat of man.

I learned that monthly payments are the cornerstone of everything in the automobile business.

Why did god create a dual universe? So he might say ‘Be not like me. I am alone.' And it might be heard.

I live in the house bad reviews built.

You know, my friends, with what a brave carouse I made a Second Marriage in my house; favored old barren reason from my bed, and took the daughter of the vine to spouse.