Pay no attention to Caesar. Caesar doesn't have the slightest idea what's really going on.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

A person needed to experience real danger or they would never find joy in excelling. There had to be a risk of failure, the chance to die.

In any normal season, most of the teams below Chelsea would think they are doing quite well.

My bodyguard was mowing the lawn in a pink bikini when the body fell from the sky.

Sometimes the most important word is no. It takes the pressure off.

I look upon logical proofs the way a well-bred girl looks upon a love letter

It is wonderful to be in on the creation of something, see it used, and then walk away and smile at it.

Took me by the hand, she's gonna love me in my Chevy Van.

Sometimes you have to fulfill a promise in order to deserve the love you're given.

One of the tremendous evils of the world, is the monstrous accumulation of power in a few hands.

Women are not attracted to men who are good looking - they are attracted to men who are attractive.