Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all.

Prayer is our yearning for God, the cry of our poverty and misery, stretching out toward the throne of His divine mercy.

I am heartbroken, but I have been heartbroken before, and this might be the best for which I can hope.

Life's adventures make great reading!

People living godly will dwell on high. Meaning wealth, honour, prosperity, fame, elevation, joy etc.

This director could say many things about duty, and self-respect, and dignity, but she knew none of these meant much in the post-modern world.

They rarely discovered a star red as a distant crime or a star-fish.

It is not from reason that justice springs, but goodness is born of wisdom.

Creative people are like a wet towel You wring them out and pick up another one.

It's not the failure that holds us back but the reluctance to begin over again that causes us to stagnate.