People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on The Daily Show ... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.

You don't need people’s opinion on a fact. You might as well have a poll asking: ‘Which number is bigger, 15 or 5?’ or ‘Do owls exist?’ or ‘Are there hats?'

Drug companies are a bit like high school boyfriends - they're much more concerned with getting inside you than being effective once they're in there.

What a tiresome place America would be if freedom meant we all had to think alike or be the same color or wear the same gray flannel suit! That road leads to the conformity of the graveyard!

News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.

Economics is like the Dutch language - I'm told it makes sense, but I have my doubts.

One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional.

The Confederate flag is one of those things that should only be seen on t-shirts, belt buckles and bumper stickers to help the rest of us identify the worst people in the world.

Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.

Life is a short walk. There is so little time and so much living to achieve.

My fight is not for racial sameness but for racial equality and against racial prejudice and discrimination.

We make a living by what we give

Just as the world spun us into existence, it will spin on long after we are gone.

The more I come to recognize my story's place in God's grander Story, my once-bewildered questions are turning to psalms of thanksgiving at the wonder that I have been included in what He is doing.

Thus I came to condemn capitalism, not through any oppression endured by me personally, but through that very deification of efficiency which capitalism had taught me, for its own purposes.

I've covered Avril Lavigne. I like good pop songs, and I don't think there should be any kind of preconceptions about where good pop songs come from.

In the state of society in which we now find ourselves, it is difficult to imagine a nation which lived solely on bread and vegetables.

After having lost their lives on this land they have become our sons as well.

Wars will remain while human nature remains. I believe in my soul in cooperation, in arbitration; but the soldier's occupation we cannot say is gone until human nature is gone.

I'm concerned about how accessible guns are.

You will always fine jealous people.They're the ones promoting you.